What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Yes sir it is.

Sure no problem officer.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Why is my vagina swollen, it’s very itchy. I had sex we used protection, but day after it felt like my insides had a heartbeat as well as itching, the pulsing has went away but it is still itchy and my discharge is yellow, i'm 15, what could it be?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

After a few moments he returns.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

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Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

What was the first Native American tribe to inhabit Long Island, NY?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

HELLO

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Why is pornography still alive and not illegal? Why doesn’t the government do about tricking women into them?

{RING} {RING}

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Why cant I motivate myself to go to school (grade 10)?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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